Choices, Troubles, and Trusting the Process

Trust the process.

Sounds all zen-like and flowy, doesn’t it?

It’s the sort of thing you want to be able to say with conviction because it’s brimming with useful life lesson, nam-myoho-renge-kyo type energy, right?

But it’s also that lifestyle wisdom that sounds real pretty on the mouth, but is so tough to do when real life shit shows up like, Bladoww, Sucka—take that!

*because my real life shit is always narrated by a Blacksploitation film character*

Trust your process, Akilah.

That resonates with me as one who tries to keep life uncomplicated and comfortable. I consistently practice the Trust the Process mindset, and I don’t always get it right.

My life as a digital nomad and an unschooler offers me plenty opportunity to trust that clients will come in regularly; safe and comfortable living spaces will be available when we need them; and that our daughters are learning whatever they need to be learning right now.

Indeed, Kris, Marley, Sage-Niambi and I have created a very trusting life together. We live with our personal liberation as a priority, honoring the need for individual exploration,  and showing respect for who we are as unique beings, as well as who we are to each other.

In other words, each of us have very different relationships with each other, and since our environments change because we live in various cities throughout the year, we also have fluid relationships with our environments.

For example, this year alone, we’ve called three different cities “home” and that’s not abnormal for us.

We got lucky, the four of us, because we’re so different from each other, but we each happen to need one specific thing in order to feel good and practice mastery: plenty of personal space for creative exploration.

Recognizing that need in our daughters is what prompted Kris and me to consider alternative education options to replace traditional schools. Public, private, charter or hybrid, schools were boxy and they’re all built on the assumption that information must be transferred from one (knowing) person to the other person who needs the knowing. #Pineapples

We were nervous and quite unsure of what to do, but we were confident in our shared realization that school was not the answer for Marley and Sage-Niambi.

We honored that realization and made a conscious decision to trust that our process would lead us to the clarity we sought.  Unschooling was and is our reward for trusting the process.

That was nearly four year ago.  Now, at 10 and 8, Marley and Sage-Niambi are our constant reminders that trusting the process is feasible, even and especially in those Bladoww, Sucka moments.
 
Here’s what I know about the Strategy & Soulwork of trusting the process:
The Strategy for me was in learning to reframe what it means to be decisive.

When I make a decision to go a certain way, to choose a certain thing over something else, I have to trust that I made the best decision. If that decision doesn’t lead me to the end result I wanted, I didn’t make the wrong decision. If, however, I don’t stop to look at what I need to be doing differently, so that I get closer to the end result I want, then I am making a bad choice.

“A mistake made repeatedly is not a mistake, it’s a choice.”  – Unknown

See the difference? One, for me, was about beating myself up for not accomplishing whatever I thought I’d accomplish by making a certain set of choices. The other is about trusting that whatever I do is in the direction of the end result I’m seeking, as long as I don’t let myself get so caught up in thinking that I need to be able to see evidence of everything going as planned.  That leads me to the Soulwork…

The Soulwork in that is to recognize my spiritual partnership with whatever it is that I’m looking to accomplish.

Whenever you or I make a decision from a conscious space, and we take action in alignment with that decision, we create a spiritual partnership between ourselves, our Higher Selves (or God-Self), and our goal. Each of those partners have their own divine resources that work together, sometimes in ways that we cannot see—to realize that goal.

In essence, the Soulwork herein is to embrace the mindset that God and Universe are working on my behalf.  Someone somewhere is seeking exactly what I give, and preparing exactly what I want to receive.  If I truly believe that, and do my part to be fully prepared to take on that opportunity when it shows up in my reality, then I am trusting my process.
 
How you can you start trusting your process a little more today?
 

  • Danica N. Worthy

    Yes I learn everyday to trust the process and know that the leaps of faith that I take are the acts that is keeping me soaring in the air thus far. I realize I don’t have to see it to believe and not to get caught up on others needing to see evidence of my vision. Thank you for sharing this beautiful truth as a reminder and safe haven when things seem bleak.

    • Exactly, Danica! We can still be strategic and savvy without tangible proof that our plan will “work.” I think we need to explore that idea more, and in more public settings like these, so other people can start to be more confident in their leaps of faith. Thanks, as always, for sharing your insights.