Friendventory

Taking Friendventory: Assess + Refresh Your Circle

Friendventory Note

We have exams for so many facets of our lives–have you noticed that?

Annual eye exams, gynecological visits, and a litany of other “regular” assessments dot our calendars, and for the most part, we honor them.

But what about your other regular occurrences?  Specifically, what about the people with whom you share your life? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?

I made this suggestion in July’s newsletter:

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO ASSESS YOUR CIRCLE TODAY.

Ask yourself this clarity question:
DO THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM I SPEAK MOST OFFER ME FEELING OF INSPIRATION, BETTERMENT, AND JOY?

Write down your response, and read it to yourself aloud.

If you are allowing people with draining, jealous, inauthentic, self-centered energy to be in your circle, the fault is not theirs, but your own.

HERE’S WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT:

A) Phase them out over time. Speak to them less on the phone, and in shorter conversations in person
B) Feed your food to those who will celebrate it! If there’s a friend or family member with whom you share your ideas, and they tend to be negative about most of them, FIND NEW PEOPLE!
C) Research and recruit new circle members! (use Google.com and search.twitter.com) and find the people who are wondering about the same things as you. Use technology to grow your circle.

Is your current circle serving you, or sapping your energy?

What are your thoughts on taking friendventory?

Have you ever done that? Is it time for you to do it now?

During the Excellence in Relationships telesummit, internationally acclaimed matchmaker and relationship coach, Paul Carrick Brunson and I discussed our shared belief on the benefits of period friendship assessments, and we both agreed that the habit of doing so has enhanced our lives, and we recommend it to our clients and friends alike.

However you feel about the morals behind the concept, I want you to consider the value in being picky about the people with whom you talk, laugh, share, and grow.  Is your circle comprised mainly of cheerleaders, a peanut gallery, people who are simply riding your coat-tail? Well?

When you read my work, I know that a big reason you keep reading is because you and I both share a particular stage in our life journeys. We’re building, we’re learning who we are, and we’re honoring that as much as we can. In this stage, it’s imperative to be selective, because we’re setting the stage for the influences in our lives to collaborate and dictate our future.

Can you afford to leave friendships to chance? Perhaps you can–but that’s not my perspective.

I’m curious though, so whether you agree with that or not, I’d love to hear your perspective.

  • Harlem Minded

    Feed your food to those who will celebrate it! <—THIS.  All day, Everyday!