Recognizing Rock Bottom and Embracing Transition

“Your next level begins where your comfort level ends.”
Lisa Nicole Bell, Change Agent/The Inspiration Icon

Well that’s fantastic news, because not since months seven through nine of pregnancy have I been this uncomfortable!  Last week’s  Meet the Resource call was right on time for many of us, including yours truly. I’ve labeled the past two weeks of my life as Beautifully Intense because I now know (and the call served as yet another confirmation) why this particular transition is a necessary part of my life.  Today I am in full celebration mode—party hat, confetti, hot Goddess dress, the works—because I am shedding my old skin, and sauntering sexily in my six-inch heels on my hand-sewn, plush new red carpet.

The catalyst for this transition was far from sexy, though–deep and ugly like a freshly made wound from a long, long drop. It started one night lying in bed with Kris talking about where we were versus where we wanted to be.  We were back in a space we never thought we’d revisit, and just like all the other times, the familiarity of the space left me feeling bitter, doubtful, and defeated.

That Night (The Drop).

Coming down from the Super High of spending 32 days in Jamaica, followed by being flown to New York for a photo shoot with one of my favorite magazines, was far worse than I’d anticipated.

I was actually looking forward to returning to the comfort of our cozy home, embracing family and friends, and showing the gazillion pictures we took during our travels.  We hadn’t hit our target for the amount of business we intended to secure in Jamaica, but we’d done alright, and came back with solid prospects that still look like they will give us cause to travel back to the island at least three times next year. SCORE, right?!

But when we landed at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport for the second time in four days, and finally got settled in, the proverbial ton of bricks wrapped in the course burlap package labeled BILLS, landed on our heads, rendering Kris focused on resolutions, and me dazed and utterly pissed off.  How the frig does an able-bodied, smart, opportunity embracing 33-year-old woman not have enough money to cover her basic living expenses? Again.

But I did everything right. I believed wholeheartedly and focused on my intentions and my efforts, yet the whole ship still sunk like the Ti-friggin-tanic — so now what? So, what I’m observing right now is that the whole Law of Attraction/ask and ye shall receive/magnetize and harvest line of reasoning is a steaming pile of shit being pushed out by an aggressive male cow?! Oh, okay…thanks, Universe! Hardy Fucking Har!

My first instinct was to shut down Execumama.com, call all the people with whom I’d scheduled meetings, Skype chats, or shoots related to anything in the realm of Life Design, and sit my ass down somewhere dark to play dead.  Actually, I did a version of that for three full days. I stayed upstairs as much as my life allowed, deciding against re-connecting my cell phone service, and embracing the steel cold reality: Akilah S. Richards, one of many Execumamas/Life Design Practitioner/Wife/Mother/Harvester was a BIG BROWN TOWER OF FAILURE. I was a poser, dressed in fabulosity, but hollow on the inside, and not worth the labor pains that petite 20-year-old girl endured to bring me here. SHITTERS! That hurt was nasty, and it was all my own doing.

I tried talking with God, but the prayer wouldn’t pray. I tried meditation, in efforts to listen to God, but all I heard were loud nothings.  I tried shifting my focus to the things I could do to reconnect with my usual positive self, but that self was buried too far beneath the rubble for me to gain access. Not even brownies helped (WTF!), which meant I was amidst a serious shit-storm, sans raincoat, umbrella, or visible shelter.

As always though, Creator quieted my mind enough to get a word in edgewise, and I listened, albeit with folded arms and my head cocked to the side like, “What YOU got to say?”

The RESULTS (The Transition).

1. The 9 Principles of Life Design.  The foundation of the next phase of Execumama.com.  The full acceptance of the ultimate goal: A Physical Space for Life Design. For women. By me. And a team of mental and physical wellness professionals. Soon.

2. A realization that what I was experiencing was not a fall, but a transition, a shedding of my old skin, an awakening that spoke to the core of me like nothing ever has before.

3. Access to the stories of the many women who like me, experience the bumps and bruises en route to their fullest selves.  I am so very fortunate to have been granted access to these stories, and it is with an open heart and hopeful energy that I release them into the Universe, onto your eyes, into your ears, and out through the transitions they will incite in you.

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for access to the e-book series. I will release one story every week, and when you sign up, they’ll go straight to your email.

I look forward to your feedback.

  • Awwwww—’Kilah! Babe, it’s gonna be all right. Thank God you heard the voice, shed the skin, and recognized the purpose. I can’t wait to read your work—I’m proud of you! ((HUGS))

    • Thanks, D! Hugs right back. I’m moving right along in a more focused way, and I’m thankful!

  • Awwwww—’Kilah! Babe, it’s gonna be all right. Thank God you heard the voice, shed the skin, and recognized the purpose. I can’t wait to read your work—I’m proud of you! ((HUGS))

    • Thanks, D! Hugs right back. I’m moving right along in a more focused way, and I’m thankful!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you.

    • Hey, Uzuri! Thanks so much for dropping by!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you.

    • Hey, Uzuri! Thanks so much for dropping by!

  • Anonymous

    Kilah! Love your honesty here babes! I didn’t see a picture on my screen, maybe it’s my computer but I refreshed and nothing, so please send me the link or sign me up for the short story e-mails as well. Thanks!

  • Kilah! Love your honesty here babes! I didn’t see a picture on my screen, maybe it’s my computer but I refreshed and nothing, so please send me the link or sign me up for the short story e-mails as well. Thanks!

  • I am grateful for your boldness and audacity with sharing your transparency. In the midst of being freeing to yourself, you become a blessing, inspiration & motivation to others. And I thank you for it. You inspire me to continue on that path.

    {{Hugs}}

    • Thank you, Cheris. Those are powerful words, and I appreciate them greatly!

  • I am grateful for your boldness and audacity with sharing your transparency. In the midst of being freeing to yourself, you become a blessing, inspiration & motivation to others. And I thank you for it. You inspire me to continue on that path.

    {{Hugs}}

    • Thank you, Cheris. Those are powerful words, and I appreciate them greatly!

  • I read this three times. I truly felt you, I feel you.

  • I read this three times. I truly felt you, I feel you.

  • TawanaNecole

    Written like a Pulitzer Prize journalist.(smile) It not only allows readers to understand that through all the grime and grit that we must sometimes encounter to experience true bliss; it gives the ultimate meaning of transition. And what is that? It is un-pouting our lips and getting up off of the floor from falling out and taking that energy and placing it into creating while ultimately depending on the ONE and true Source. It is also realizing that he will take care of us no matter what and when it is our time to experience abundance in wealth, he will ensure that it happens but NEVER when or how we think it will happen. Execumama is now about to produce more magic but the extension only came because of the uncomfotableness (if that’s a word). WOW……

    • Thank you, Tawana! Your support means a lot, and you know you and I have all kinds of deliciousness to offer this world by way of our mutual passion for empowerment through authentic conversation!

  • TawanaNecole

    Written like a Pulitzer Prize journalist.(smile) It not only allows readers to understand that through all the grime and grit that we must sometimes encounter to experience true bliss; it gives the ultimate meaning of transition. And what is that? It is un-pouting our lips and getting up off of the floor from falling out and taking that energy and placing it into creating while ultimately depending on the ONE and true Source. It is also realizing that he will take care of us no matter what and when it is our time to experience abundance in wealth, he will ensure that it happens but NEVER when or how we think it will happen. Execumama is now about to produce more magic but the extension only came because of the uncomfotableness (if that’s a word). WOW……

    • Thank you, Tawana! Your support means a lot, and you know you and I have all kinds of deliciousness to offer this world by way of our mutual passion for empowerment through authentic conversation!

  • Greg and I had a chat this morning while laying in bed and by golly it was similar to you a Kris’ convo.

    I feel the same way too. We’ve got so many resources and talents, but at some months the bills get scary! There are times I wanna kick my own ass because there’s money to be made, but I run away from it because I am doubtful….

    I love you.

    I’m ready to surrender this old skin.

    • Sheena, I’m so glad you and Greg are having the conversations, and I say that because the verbal release of the “issues” is a good catalyst for eventual change. I really hope my sharing can serve as one of the many tools you use to help you create your ideal life. You are so frikkin talented and smart, I know this for a fact–so let’s get you and Greg in full focus and en route to THRiVE!!! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Greg and I had a chat this morning while laying in bed and by golly it was similar to you a Kris’ convo.

    I feel the same way too. We’ve got so many resources and talents, but at some months the bills get scary! There are times I wanna kick my own ass because there’s money to be made, but I run away from it because I am doubtful….

    I love you.

    I’m ready to surrender this old skin.

    • Sheena, I’m so glad you and Greg are having the conversations, and I say that because the verbal release of the “issues” is a good catalyst for eventual change. I really hope my sharing can serve as one of the many tools you use to help you create your ideal life. You are so frikkin talented and smart, I know this for a fact–so let’s get you and Greg in full focus and en route to THRiVE!!! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Synovia

    “The Transition” I love Akilah! Great read.

    • Thanks, Synovia! I really appreciate the feedback!

  • Synovia

    “The Transition” I love Akilah! Great read.

    • Thanks, Synovia! I really appreciate the feedback!

  • I absolutely LOVE your transparency. Huge kudos to you for digging your way out of the rubble. It’s darkest before dawn. I want you to know that I’m here to support you, personally and professionally, on your path. I love women who aren’t afraid to acknowledge the messiness of this journey to self-actualization and living well. Big hugs!

    • Thank you, Lisa! I’m committed to the full scope of this journey, so ALL of it is necessary muscle-building, and I am learning to embrace it as such. I appreciate you!

  • I absolutely LOVE your transparency. Huge kudos to you for digging your way out of the rubble. It’s darkest before dawn. I want you to know that I’m here to support you, personally and professionally, on your path. I love women who aren’t afraid to acknowledge the messiness of this journey to self-actualization and living well. Big hugs!

    • Thank you, Lisa! I’m committed to the full scope of this journey, so ALL of it is necessary muscle-building, and I am learning to embrace it as such. I appreciate you!

  • HerHeartMagazine

    I so related to this.

  • HerHeartMagazine

    I so related to this.

  • Man! I have been here…I WAS here, just a few short weeks ago.  This is so affirming to understand that my thoughts, feelings, and actions were not something I have experienced alone.  Somehow I came to point of understanding that I was in transition, not extinction.  It is a beautiful rebirth when you realize that!  Here’s to making it through and coming out enlightened on the other side.  

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