Mistress aka Side Chick Day, and Open Relationships–Oh, word?

Lovers

At first I told myself I wouldn’t do this post at all, because “why bring attention to this utter foolishness, no doubt perpetuated by the media.  I decided against being yet another source of perpetuation, and that was that.

But then…I got all “Aw, hell naaaw!” when I got a PR pitch about a “leading dating website” for  a “concierge service for busy men (read: Sugar Daddies) who want a sugar baby, but don’t have the time to look.”  Yeah, so that’s where the Hell Naaaw came in.

This handy website also offers concierge services specifically designed to find ideal mistress gifts based on stated budgets for February 13th—dubbed Mistress Day. GTFOH (pssst…if you don’t know what the acronym means, ask me).

I. Just. Can’t. It’s not that I don’t respect commerce.  I understand that if there is a market for these services, then someone will fill it.  I also get that in some cases, the chick on the side and the wife/main partner are well aware of each other, and since they’re (presumably) grown, far be it for me to judge.

It’s weird because I consider myself pretty liberal, and one side of my brain says that the creators of this service aren’t doing anything more than filling a niche, and this sort of thing can justly be likened to the whole Condoms In Schools debate.  In other words, if the deed is getting done, let’s not sit in mum’s-the-word mode and pretend it doesn’t happen–right? Rri…..er…#nahson!

Sex in schools can lead to many social and emotional ails such as disease spreading, unwanted pregnancies, teen pregnancy, and other significant social issues.  On the other hand, cheating leads to all of the above, but unlike sex in schools, this side chick thing is causing many (yes, many!) women to get frikkin delusional about their expectations of their man’s capacity to be monogamous.

Find Me A BullShit-ometer, please!

There are even studies performed about the “relative rarity of sexual monogamy in humans (read: men).  Curious about the hormones that affect monogomy? Check out this 2010 article on Psychology Today’s blog.  I’m sorry, but if I buy that “logic”, then I may as well adopt an overall philosophy of settling for less than my worth in all areas of my life, and um…that ain’t happenin’!

I’m actually cool with open relationships, because I strongly believe that the two people in the relationship are the ONLY ones who can decide what “format” works best for them.  I don’t judge it, I only know that an open relationship would not suit my particular needs, and that if Kris ever, E-V-E-R brought that up, the conversation would be real short, and he’s made the same assertion to me.

Deuces!This February 13th thing is stupid (to me), but perhaps it’s based on retail reality.  Hell, while doing research for this post, I even found sites that offer tips on how to keep tabs on your man during Mistress Day–yep, seriously!

Anyhoo, I want to know what you think.  Do I need a healthy whiff of reality, or are you high fiving in agreement that this Side Chick Day thing represents a much larger issue?

  • Itiel

    Clapping and high fiving. ‘….and that if Kris ever, E-V-E-R brought that up, the conversation would be real short, and he’s made the same assertion to me.’ Same here! I was wondering if you were going to bring this topic up. Really, I did. Just two weeks ago. As I think about the Open Relationship (just like I told my King), women really do not realize how much power is being let out from them; They have set their independence so far back. OK, bare with me. The majority of this OR matter comes from men wanting two (or more) women. I feel that the women who go along with it do so because they are so absorbedly dependent on that man (check the adverb; don’t come at me with “Aren’t we suppose to be dependent on our man?”; that is not what I am talking about here). Therefore, they cover the fear of loosing him with “Oh, I can have a man on the side too!” I really do not think that any human, unless they are so absorbed into themselves, can honestly say that it does not bother them to know that their lover is intimately being with another person; their lover is creating life long memories with someone else. “Well, the ancients had many wives and concubines, so I guess he has a point” OK, women, who wrote history?! A woman is a woman is a woman. Regardless of culture, I can whole-heartedly say there were some hurt feelings, rejection, jealousy, wanting-to-be-the-only-one-for-him going on.

    Now see, like you, I did not want to go there.

  • Itiel

    Clapping and high fiving. ‘….and that if Kris ever, E-V-E-R brought that up, the conversation would be real short, and he’s made the same assertion to me.’ Same here! I was wondering if you were going to bring this topic up. Really, I did. Just two weeks ago. As I think about the Open Relationship (just like I told my King), women really do not realize how much power is being let out from them; They have set their independence so far back. OK, bare with me. The majority of this OR matter comes from men wanting two (or more) women. I feel that the women who go along with it do so because they are so absorbedly dependent on that man (check the adverb; don’t come at me with “Aren’t we suppose to be dependent on our man?”; that is not what I am talking about here). Therefore, they cover the fear of loosing him with “Oh, I can have a man on the side too!” I really do not think that any human, unless they are so absorbed into themselves, can honestly say that it does not bother them to know that their lover is intimately being with another person; their lover is creating life long memories with someone else. “Well, the ancients had many wives and concubines, so I guess he has a point” OK, women, who wrote history?! A woman is a woman is a woman. Regardless of culture, I can whole-heartedly say there were some hurt feelings, rejection, jealousy, wanting-to-be-the-only-one-for-him going on.

    Now see, like you, I did not want to go there.

  • hicksgirl93

    You get a high five , a fist bump, chest bump and a booty bump from me ! I.Don’t. Play.That.!

  • hicksgirl93

    You get a high five , a fist bump, chest bump and a booty bump from me ! I.Don’t. Play.That.!

  • 2/13 – hell to tha nawl!!! Unless I can book Pooch Hall for the night, it ain’t happenin’! LMAO

  • 2/13 – hell to tha nawl!!! Unless I can book Pooch Hall for the night, it ain’t happenin’! LMAO