Growing Towards Yourself By Mining Your Emotions

Sometimes plans don’t work out the way we hope they would. And sometimes—despite our best efforts—we don’t meet our goals

I’m sure that ain’t news to you, right? As humans, we’ve come up with all kinds of reasons to help ourselves navigate the emotional waves attached to stalled plans and unmet goals. Indeed, being grown and responsible for one’s self comes with so many options to grow into or away from ourselves—and the last month has been no exception.

Last year, we did our usual annual nomadic transition from the U.S. to Jamaica. We stayed for eight months and it was so very wonderful! By early July of this year, we were stateside again, with the intention of being in Georgia for about two weeks, then moving to Florida for a few months of reconnection with friends and family. Now, it’s nearly September and we’re still in Georgia. Every housing option fell through. Every. Single. One.

This is where that option of either growing into or growing away from myself comes into play.

I could way ‘What tha hell? Why isn’t this working out? Is God testing me? Is this karma for some past life shit I did wrong? Is this a sign that we’re not supposed to go to Florida?’

I pulled up all kinds of reasons for this stall out! Tell me which one of those have you used the most?

It’s a test from God.

It’s just not the right timing.

I’m unlucky.

The devil did it.

I’ve got haters.

I failed.

Someone failed me.

I’m just not ready for it yet.

I tend to lean really heavily on the timing one. I’d like to be all self-actualized and say that I trust the timing of life implicitly. And that I always know beyond a doubt that anything I set out to do that doesn’t end up happening, is simply a matter of divine timing, and I’m good with that.

But the truth is, I’m not always good with that. Sometimes, I do start out on the road of growing away form myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing. Or that life is tripping me up and throwing me off. You know that feeling?

Thankfully, I’m really good at giving myself space to feel my feelings, so my wave of “I’ve failed me” emotions almost always lead me to where I need to be. I may start out growing away from myself, but my process, without fail, brings me toward myself and toward the only truth that feels right in my belly and sits well with my soul.

I know I’m growing into myself when I get to the stage where I’m asking ‘What can I do with what I now know, where I currently am, and what I have access to right now?’

And that’s exactly what’s happening for me today. I let myself be pissed, sad, and frustrated. And then I let those feelings walk me toward my ‘Now What‘ space.

Recently, my thoughts and feeling have shifted from focusing on timing to focusing on the space I’m in. As my brother so beautifully put it to me: space is the new time (check out his vlog journal entry video below).  It’s not about the right time or the wrong time; it’s about:

…being in a space (mentally and spiritually) where I’m aligned with what I need in and for my life.

…being a trusting partner for my goals and allowing my intention and actions the space to manifest into opportunities.

And most importantly, it’s about trusting that the space I need to be in–literally and spiritually–is being created. And if I can continue to do my work, trust my process, and pay attention to the opportunities that are right in front of me, I will always, always, always be led toward the best space for me.

It’s the Acres of Diamonds mindset (know that story?)–your treasures are not “out there somewhere.” Instead, they are right here, right now. So as my family and I sit with our current space in Georgia, I’ve been able to:

…Celebrate finally being able to meet up with Brooke Brimm. We’ve been online homies for 8 years or so and she happened to be in Atlanta while I’m here.

…Hug all up on good friend and fellow coach, Monique, while we finalize her upcoming book.

…Spend time with my loves while visiting Savannah and Tybee Island.

…Have soul-on-fire type conversations with my friend and fellow storyteller, Trelani while we watch our babies commune with Yemaya.

…Visit our aunt and uncle’s farm and enjoy the quiet comforts of rural Georgia.

I could give example after example of all the treasures that are right here in Georgia, but I think you get the point. I’m here right now for a reason. And when the space is right and ready, Kris, the girls and I will access that knowing and head to Florida. We are right where we need to be to have exactly what we’re working and vibrating towards. So I continue the practice of trusting my process so that I can mine my acres of diamonds wherever my feet are. And I want you to mull that over in your space as well.

What are you mining this week, friend? And how can you grow toward yourself a little bit more while you mine your acres?

Voice Lessons Immersion
  • Trelani Michelle™

    My most used reasoning is “It’s a sign” or like you, “It’s bad timing.” That made me giggle because in my recent post, I’d asked about two potential omens that occurred prior to my tire failing. Space vs time has been serving me very well lately, and I appreciate having read this blog in this space because I count it as yummy confirmation! Equally enjoyed our time together, as I always do. As a fellow griot, I consider reading you as communing with you, and I love e’ry moment of it. Much love!

    • I’m feeling so much gratitude for your presence in this world, and in my life, Trelani. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your life juice, as always.

  • Danica N. Worthy

    Allowing my intention and action the Space to manifest into opportunity. Beautiful! #Goosebumps