What I'm Talkin' Bout

Womanhood. Blackness. Parenting. Location Independence. Pain. Acquiescence. Spiritual Entrepreneurship. Touchy-feely Shit.

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Post 1: The Trinity I Believe In (Incantations)

Post 1: The Trinity I Believe In (Incantations)

Self. Intention. Attention: That’s the Trinity I serve, and it’s the Trinity that serves me. I am a believer. And my belief stems from a place of love, soul, and gratitude. I do not believe in the notion that I was born a sinner, or bad, or wrong. I do not...
Post 2: 70 Lip-Biting Ways to Practice Self-Love

Post 2: 70 Lip-Biting Ways to Practice Self-Love

We all know what it’s like to feel MUTED. It’s as if we know what we want, but we’re afraid to push too hard against what we have.  You know, just in case … We forget the privilege of radical self-expression.  We try to maintain work-life...
Post 3: 10 Ways To Heal Through Radical Self-Expression

Post 3: 10 Ways To Heal Through Radical Self-Expression

Today only, I’m offering you 10 reasons to heal your life through Radical Self-Expression. I believe self-expression to be the action steps around understanding self-love.  This understanding is vital, because in my mind, we cannot embody what we do not...
Post 4: Finding More Messages On Self-Love & Support

Post 4: Finding More Messages On Self-Love & Support

If you’re a woman, If you’re a person of color, If you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender,
if you’re a person of size, a person of intelligence, a person of integrity, then you’re considered a minority in this world.

…And it’s gonna be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere.

For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution in long overdue. -Margaret Cho

Post 5: A Simple Affirmation In Support of Self-Love

Post 5: A Simple Affirmation In Support of Self-Love

I had spent so much time fighting for myself that I’d assumed it was because I loved myself, and because I wanted to be happy and to be free. But as my battles continued, whether I won them or lost them, I grew into someone different than the one I was fighting for.

And once that version of me, the survivor, was ready to shift from survivor to Thrivist, she needed distance between herself and the feelings associated with the circumstances that had once held her captive. I needed to stop comparing my current life to my past life and release the tethers, so that I could fully embrace myself in the current moment.

Post 6: 8 Questions About Motherhood and Ma’at

Post 6: 8 Questions About Motherhood and Ma’at

Are you familiar with the term, Ma’at? It’s the name of the Egyptian Goddess who represented truth, order, and balance. Ma’at is also used as a philosophy that carries the same energy as the Goddess. So, one can practice living Ma’at by seeking harmony among all aspects of life.

The term, for me, holds particular significance in my experiences with motherhood, as I believe in harmony over balance, when it comes to work-life flow. For me, the practice of living Ma’at helps me prioritize the role of curiosity in motherhood

I feel that I get better at understanding my daughters when I stop assuming that I know, and start getting curious about what might be. I know it probably sounds more sensible to say that we have to know what our children need, but I caution you against that.

Post 8: 14 Radical Acts of Self-Care

Post 8: 14 Radical Acts of Self-Care

Yesterday, I talked about our perceptions of healing, and how hurting may be part of our healing process. I imagine that you are just as familiar as I am with both hurting and healing, and the dance of trading one in for the other. As you and I work through our own...
Post 9: On SuperMoons & Healing Disguised as Hurt

Post 9: On SuperMoons & Healing Disguised as Hurt

Last night’s SuperMoon was kind of a big deal. It reminded me to share a video I did about Radical Self-Expression as part of a healing process. I’d been feeling the flow of emotions for weeks prior to tonight. And I knew that I has spent most of August in...
Post 11: The Public Shaming of Blackgirl Natural Hair

Post 11: The Public Shaming of Blackgirl Natural Hair

*Special thanks to Armani Jamieson for sending me her beautiful photos for the featured image!*   I don’t know whether I’ve ever written about natural hair on my blog. Today though, I needed to share an article I wrote on EverydayFeminism.com with you...
Post 12: How Our Mothers’ Choices Can Mute Us

Post 12: How Our Mothers’ Choices Can Mute Us

As I matured into adulthood, I would sit quiet in conversations at work or even among my friends afraid to express myself because I might say the “wrong” thing. I was well into my 20’s before I understood that having an opinion did not mean I had to agree with everyone else — that it was ok for me to publicly say “I disagree” though I didn’t do it very often at that time. I disagreed inside.

Post 13: Feeling Out Loud When Everyone’s Watching

Post 13: Feeling Out Loud When Everyone’s Watching

I’m sitting in my mom’s backyard watching the old man who lives next door to her.  He’s working in his garden, and he doesn’t see me sitting here. I assume he doesn’t see me because he just pulled his pants below his bottom to tuck in his...
Post 14: Redefining Our Warrior Selves

Post 14: Redefining Our Warrior Selves

I am a warrior woman.  This does not mean that I am destined to fight wars forever. Or that I will die on a battle field.  It means that I am designed from the fabrics of strength, resilience, and deep emotions. I am wise and vulnerable, and I walk with both wisdom...
Post 15: This Pretty Much Sums Up Why We Unschool

Post 15: This Pretty Much Sums Up Why We Unschool

I share these things not because I believe everyone should unschool, but because I believe everyone should know about this option for themselves and their children. I get that it’s not for everyone, but information offers access to the power of informed decision-making, and that is definitely for everyone.

Post 16: Another short book–but on healing broken

Post 16: Another short book–but on healing broken

I’ve been working on a series of essays about the mothers, sisters, and other loved ones of Black boys like Michael Brown, John Crawford, Travyon Martin, Darius Simmons, and girls like Renisha McBride. While I heal from the inside, I feel rage for their Mamas. Women whose journeys toward healing broken may be miles in the making. Let me start with me, and then work my way toward doing what I can for them. And for us.

Post 17: A short book about feeling broken

Post 17: A short book about feeling broken

So, if the one thing I never wanted to do was now being done, what was the point of moving on? How could I not stop and ask myself what to do next? I had to slow everything to a halt. Let myself fall. But I didn’t expect to not be able to get up. I stayed fallen. Broken actually. And I almost stopped trusting my footing. The dreams I had held on my head …

Post 18: Where Souls Go to Die

Post 18: Where Souls Go to Die

i feel value in looking past the moment these days, because should I stay (t)here—I will die. i will pack my bags, blow out my candles, roll up my mats, tie my locs back, and let my dreams die. should i stay in the moment, the bit of me that still sees the possibility of happiness will drown…

Post 19: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 19: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

ON QUITTING BECAUSE IT’S TIME I read a great interview on Tayari Jones today. In it, Eve Dunbar asked her questions about her journey to becoming a professional writer. One response struck a major chord with me, and perhaps with you too. It’s about...
Post 20: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 20: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

I think Matthew is a brilliant young man, but his perspective on what it means to thrive in America is a lid-on philosophy to which I am vehemently opposed. If we took the stance that certain things are only for certain people, I shudder to think of all the ways that women, immigrants, the elderly, poor people, and all other categories of traditionally marginalized groups would rise out of their situations and into fulfilling lives.

Post 21: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 21: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

This video came out in 2010, and I completely missed it. But I’m making sure you don’t miss it now.   Jesse Williams (Debbie Allen’s son in “Grey’s Anatomy”. Kepner’s hubby.) illustrates how one risks expression on the...
Post 22: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 22: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

By avoiding the topics of body awareness and sexuality, we set our girls up to be ill-equipped to manage their emotions and to confidently express whatever they need to feel both comfortable around and respected by their peers.

Post 23: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 23: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Another radical course of action is in motion, and this time, it’s about reclaiming and rebellions. Watch the videos below to see what I’m talkin’ bout, and test out your own radical wingspan through the stories of these women. First, she decided to...
Post 24: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 24: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

I’ve been doing a lot of mental traveling lately, and my method of choice was photographs from our past three years of unschooling and location independence.  The photos allowed me to re-live the questions, fears, and discoveries I’ve experienced along...
Post 25: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 25: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

>I posted this video on Google+ a while back, and it just came across my radar again today. Can I just say that Natalie Stewart (the Floacist) is such a lightbeam and a real example of radical self-expression in action. Take 15 minutes to breathe this in, and tell me you don’t want to just get off this computer and start risking expression in even bigger ways!

Post 26: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 26: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Vanessa was one of our brilliant honorees at Radical Self-Expression Summit. I love so many things about this woman whom my Literal Self barely knows. Among those many things are that she is incredibly familiar to my Spiritual Self, and that she has a strong tendency to appreciate magic, and to be magical herself are traits that top my reasons-to-love-her list.

Post 27: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 27: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

I know most of you who read my blog are based in the U.S. and Canada, but if you have any friends or family in Jamaica, please share this with them. I’m sharing it with you because as I watched the video, I saw a woman who was risking expression by creating art that fit her unique needs and flow. I honor that, and part of how I turn honor into action is by sharing.

Post 28: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 28: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Confession: I have a favorite performance from Radical Self-Expression Summit. It’s my firstborn daughter, Marley. She performed a piece from my manifesto, and owned it in such a way that it elicited applause, reflections, and tears from the hands, eyes, and souls of our attendees. Kris and I are so very proud of her for reminding us how to risk expression!

Post 29: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Post 29: 40 Posts About Self-Expression

Monique and I co-hosted Radical Self-Expression Summit together for several reasons. Friendship, trust, and a shared vision were among the top reasons, but there’s one more primary reason; she was nervous about “stepping out”.     Monique...

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